It may seem normal to hide certain purchases and expenses from your spouse, particularly those involving gifts for them. Such actions are meant more to protect the secret until the gift is given than to protect the fact that money was spent. Unfortunately, other situations exist where spouses keep purchases hidden, hoping never to have them discovered.

By some accounts, keeping purchases hidden from a spouse (dubbed Financial Infidelity) is even more damaging to relationships than regular infidelity. That may be because few of us even think to look for signs of secret spending.

I’m not suggesting that we all spy on our spouses. Some couples even choose to keep their finances completely separate. What I would recommend is talking more openly about money to reduce the need to hide spending. It doesn’t have to be a daily discussion; a 5-minute monthly update will often suffice. It may be that spending is hidden out of guilt of overrunning a budget category, but such situations are an excellent opportunity to reassess your budget. If you or your spouse feels the need to have some portion of your income allocated for no-questions-asked spending, then adding a fun money category to your budget may be a healthier way to solve the problem.

Disagreements on the amount of fun money you should each have at your disposal could help to expose underlying issues that could lead to hidden spending. The woman in the financial infidelity article referenced above was using shopping to cope with her depression.

It is temping to have one spouse handle all of the money issues. That can even work well in some families. In many other cases, however, such an approach is ripe for abuse. The uninvolved spouse would have no idea if secret spending were occurring. Families who are paid in cash, or cash their paychecks upon receipt, are also highly susceptible to secret spending. In such cases, no paper trail exists to discover the spending.

It may not be that secret spending itself causes marital distress, but rather that the behaviors of secret spenders affect other aspects of the marriage as well. Still, discovering a large unexpected debt would likely cause a serious fight. Open discussions about money may help to reduce the chances of your spouse spending without your knowledge. If you’re the one secretly spending, realize that the cost of doing so could exceed just the interest and fees you pay on your debts; your marriage could also be at stake.

One third of spouses surveyed admitted to some secret spending. Do you keep spending hidden from your spouse? Do you suspect that they hide spending from you?

In a recent post I explained how developing the frugal habit can be prevented by two factors: internal ones, such as desires, temptations, and a lack of discipline, and external factors. By developing a plan to beat these obstacles, we can more easily develop the frugality habit.

So what are external factors?
External factors are things outside of yourself that cause you to spend money. Think of advertisements, bad habits, and the most insidious of all: social pressure. How can we limit our spending even in the face of these ubiquitous challenges?

In my previous post I discussed developing a plan to introduce and assimilate the frugal habit. By having a frugal outlook, you can limit the strength of the internal factors influencing you to spend. Add that habit to a system of checks and balances to combat external factors, and you have a complete system.

1) Approach situations with a mindset of frugality

When you plan to do anything that involves spending money, prime yourself with thoughts of frugality. Although it sounds weird, consider developing a mantra, a set of repeatable words to remind yourself of your goal, before doing any spending. If you think about your goals or recite a mantra while shopping, for instance, you are more likely to keep your purse strings closed. This phenomenon is a psychological principle called priming.

2) Try to limit your intake of spending opportunities

If you are going out every night, you are going to spend a lot. Decide which is more important to you – the money drains that you follow, or your need for frugality. Then, reduce the number of spending drains that you follow. Try reducing the number of times you go out, for example, but still continue to follow rule number 1 and approach these nights with an air of frugality.

3) Eliminate wasteful spending

You almost certainly have some particular things that cause you to spend the most money. Consider your magazine subscriptions, your cigarette and caffeine addictions, and your other recurring purchases that are putting a damper on your savings. Choose which you can eliminate – your wallet will thank you.

By following these steps, in conjunction with limiting your internal setbacks, you will be able to develop the frugality habit. This is imperative to becoming debt-free and increasing your ability to contribute to your savings and investment accounts.

When thinking of the abundance in our lives, it’s easy to forget that beyond a certain point, positive benefits can become negative. I’m reminded of William Dean Howells’ story Christmas Every Day. The little girl wishing for that quickly learns the moral that too much of a good thing isn’t.

While abundance reduces appreciation, a corollary could be that scarcity enhances appreciation. So it is with a friend of mine. This friend has taken thriftiness past frugality into the realm of cheap, though some of his actions are still worthy of consideration for those struggling to live on a tight budget. His refusal to pay for cable television is one example. As a result of this cost-conscious decision, he can only watch one baseball game a week, on Friday night, when the game is broadcast on a non-cable channel. Knowing that Friday nights are the only times to enjoy a game, his family plans the entire evening around the game and never misses it. I am sure that he enjoys that one game each week much more than the collective enjoyment I receive from being able to watch every game, in high-def, no less.

This phenomenon shows just one way that we can get more from less in our lives. There are surely many similar examples. The point of this discussion is not to weigh the benefits and opportunity costs of paying for cable, but it does remind us that rethinking needs and wants isn’t just about reducing spending. At times, the abundance of spending more actually reduces your overall enjoyment rather than enhancing it. What are some of the ways that you’ve applied the “less is more” philosophy in your own life?

Are you vital to your employer?

If your answer is, "absolutely!" then congratulations, your job is probably safe. If you hesitated, it may be time to look at how to layoff-proof your position. With companies laying off workers across a broad spectrum of industries, if you're not vital you just might be expendable.

Make yourself absolutely vital to the success of your company… or, at least their survival during these difficult economic times.

1. Be a Da Vinci

Leonardo wasn't just a great painter. He could sculpt, sketch, and if you're a ninja turtle fan, clean up with swords as well.

The point is that knowing how to just do your job isn't enough. To truly layoff-proof yourself you need to know how to do other positions within your company. Take the initiative and start learning the daily tasks you would handle if you had other job titles.

2. Take on a new project

If you have to create a new project to take on one, do it. If a new project needs volunteers, volunteer. Heck, volunteer to lead the search for volunteers.

If there is anything new happening at your company, you want to make sure you are an important part of it. This may mean taking on responsibilities beyond your normal routine or job description.

3. Generate revenue

Often when a company is looking at cutting jobs, the absolute last cuts happen to the sales department. Why? Because without them, the company wouldn't bring in any money!

If you're a secretary, find a salesperson to help out. Can you help manage or optimize their leads? If you can't be generating revenue directly, become absolutely essential to someone who is!

4. Embrace change

Instead of complaining of the "good ole days", embrace any change that your workplace is going through. Not only will it be good for your mental health, you'll be seen as a good team player as well.

Note: This does not mean be a suck-up. This just means roll with the punches. Change happens. You might as well go with it.

5. Share your 100% commitment

Have a serious conversation with your boss (or higher up if possible) about your commitment to your company. Don't do this in an email or over the phone. Even if it's just stopping their office for a few minutes one afternoon, have this conversation in person.

When it comes to making cuts, they will remember the personal conversation that you initiated. It may not sound like much, but little details like this can make all the difference.

Share your best tip

How are you layoff-proofing yourself?

Receipts from certain purchases are easy to enter into budgeting software because the entire purchase tends to be in one category. I know that a receipt from a restaurant will go into my Food: Dining Out category regardless of the items on the receipt. Grocery store purchases might be that simple as well, depending on the level of detail in your budget. Department stores can be much more time consuming to categorize, though at least one store is doing something to help.

I do a lot of my shopping at a Super Target, which has just about all of the products and food our family needs on a regular basis. When I enter the receipts into our budget software, I generally split the transaction into Groceries, Household, Baby Supplies, etc. It isn’t particularly difficult, but it does take some time and I probably miscategorize some of our spending on occasion. That’s why I was so pleased to see that Target has started categorizing receipts for its customers.

Categorized receipts have been common at grocery stores for some time. There, your dairy, fruits and vegetables, dry goods, etc., were all subtotaled separately. While such detail is great for those with highly categorized budgets, it wasn’t so important to me since I consider all of those items as part of my Grocery category. Categorized receipts from Target are much more useful. My latest receipt shows items in the Grocery, Home, Cleaning Supplies, Baby, and Cosmetics categories. Though subtotals are not produced, I am still able to quickly determine what I’ve spent in each category. I also combine certain groups in cases where Target uses more detailed categories than I do. I budget Cleaning Supplies in my Grocery category, for example.

I can only imagine that the economic downturn’s pressure on higher cost consciousness and revival of frugal tendencies prompted Target’s newly categorized receipts. Whatever their reason, I personally find these categorized receipts very useful. Have you noticed any other stores adopting a similar feature?