
Nintendo's arcade classic, Donkey Kong, has fans around the world ranging from dorky, high-score experts to fun-loving, socialized newcomers. The game has such a wide draw because it is a complex, ingenious story that is difficult to master and fun to play.
But there is another element to Donkey Kong that is often overlooked: its relevance to everyday life. The story of heroism, hardship, and hazards could be anyone's autobiography, albeit with a plumber, a princess and a giant gorilla playing the starring roles.
Even more, the video game has a lot to say about finance. Take a look at these seven ways that DK and friends can help you hone your money management skills.
1. Watch out for barrels
Mario’s climb to the top of Mount Girl Booty would be a lot easier if it wasn’t for those stupid barrels. At times, it seems like they have minds of their own, chasing Mario into corners, falling down conveniently placed ladders, and attacking in groups of three, four, and even five. They just don’t quit.
Neither does life. Bad things happen to good people every day, and we’re talking expensive, unplanned things. A broken down car and an unexpected trip to the doctor can be big-time money drainers—financial barrels if you will. And there is no way to avoid them.
Donkey Kong never quits throwing those torturous orbs, and the real world never quits tossing whammies in our direction. What’s a poor soul to do?
Prepare for the worst, that’s what. An emergency fund is perfect for situations like that. Keeping aside a small chunk of change just in case anything bad happens (note: it will) is prudent, resourceful, and an awesome idea in hindsight.
Mario can jump over his barrels, but we can’t skirt life’s curveballs as easily. Planning on them coming our direction is our best bet to surviving.
2. The flames hurt
For some reason, Donkey Kong designers didn’t think that avoiding barrels, leaping over obstacles, and racing against time and space to save a high-maintenance piece of arm candy were enough. They also threw in some fire.
At the most inconvenient times, fireballs shoot out of God only knows where to roast our hero’s behind and steal valuable 1-ups. Ouch! Those things hurt.
So, too, do fees and interest. Forgetting to pay a credit card bill on time will result in a charred behind for sure, but it will also follow you around for a long time in the form of lowered credit scores and potentially higher interest rates on your other accounts. Overdrawing at the bank hurts more than just the ego; it takes a bite out of the pocketbook, too.
These financial firestorms hurt badly, but they are completely avoidable. Stay on top of your accounts. Don’t have a credit card if you can’t be responsible to pay it off properly. If you want to save the princess, if you want to enjoy retirement, keep your money to yourself, and don’t give it up to banks and financial institutions if you don’t have to. There is a reason why credit card companies are so lucrative: they feast on irresponsible consumers. Don’t be one of them. Don’t let the fire get you.
3. Channel your inner plumber
Somehow, a blue-collar worker like Mario was entrusted with the rescuing of royalty. How this came to be is beyond me. I assume that maybe he was fixing her pipes when she was whisked away, making Mario feel partly responsible for her well-being. That, or he is an extreme masochist.
Either way, Mario’s success in Donkey Kong may be directly related to his professionalism. He is a plumber, and plumbers work hard. His determination, grit, and ingenuity help him save the princess in the end (oh, spoiler warning), and they are the same exact virtues that you should strive for in your own life.
Hard work never hurt anyone – except for the dog in Iron Will. He died. But for everyone else, a good work habit in one’s chosen occupation will lead to good benefits everywhere else. Hard workers earn a good living, they make the most of the opportunities given to them, and they have an advantage over the rest of the lazy populace.
This kind of attitude carries over into personal finance, too. Some people skate by with their money, trusting that it will be there whenever they want it. Hard workers actually do something with what they have. Proactive people are the ones sitting pretty at the end of the game, not the ones who sit back and let others work hard for them.
This is why Luigi would have never hacked it in Donkey Kong.
4. Climb the ladders
Those 2-D ladders can be frustrating and freeing at the same time. Without them, Mario would have never made it past the basement of Level 1. With them, barrels and anything else DK can find to throw have a way of seeking and destroying our mustachioed hero. Haven’t these people ever heard of escalators?
Mario could not claim his ultimate prize without getting up those ladders, and we cannot reach our ultimate state of financial security without some ladders of finance. These monetary stepstools are the ways that we choose to invest: stocks, bonds, P2P loans, etc. Without them, our money stays put, content in remaining on the basement of Level 1 of life’s Donkey Kong puzzle. For those who want something more, though, those ladders are necessary.
Understandably, climbing the ladders can be scary. Who knows what awaits on the next ramp or level? But following through and climbing is the only way to advance in the game, regardless of what’s ahead.
Sure, giant barrels sometimes fall from the ladders, splattering and splintering all up in our faces. Stocks can fail, real estate profits can dry up, and bad things do happen (see above: “balls, fire”). But we can all learn a lesson from Mario: pick yourself up and climb that ladder again. Just be smarter this time.
5. Save the princess
The entire plot of Donkey Kong revolves around saving a girl you have never met. That fated female might as well be a pipe dream, a golden unicorn, a…retirement plan?
Yes indeed. If you have ever found yourself yearning, earning, and churning toward a future you know nothing about, then you can relate to our plucky plumber friend Mario. He is stuck rescuing a princess who may or may not even want to be rescued. Before Stockholm syndrome sets in, Mario and his jumping Osh Kosh B’Gosh have to race up a series of rapidly defeating ladders, ramps, and elevators only to have Gorilla Kong whisk his collateral away to the next level.
Doesn’t the princess have legs? Couldn’t she at least meet us halfway?
Planning for retirement can feel the same way. No matter what happens, that grand idea of sipping Cherry 7Up in lawn chairs resting on fake grass is ever so elusive and always farther away than any of us realize. Saving in supposed vain is a wearisome chore shared by those who forego big purchases in lieu of the lure of shuffleboard games at the condo social.
Some people work all their lives for a good retirement. For others, it just seems that way. But either way, along the road to retirement, doubt and remorse set in (not to mention that new barcalounger). Spirits drop. Hopes diminish. And AARP feels like it will never get here.
When you get to that point, remember the tale of Donkey Kong. Succeeding in the game means continuing to pursue that elusive princess. Mario doesn’t give up; he saves the princess…time and time again.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The payoff of a secure retirement is worth it. Save the princess! Save your pennies! You’ll be glad you did.
6. Be patient
If Mario were to sprint through the game, he would be toast in an instant. Running at full speed is ridiculous when there are so many pitfalls all around. And besides, overalls tend to chafe.
The winning strategy is patience. Wait for the barrels to fall, then walk in behind them. Time the fireballs just right, and you’ll be safe. Don’t get frustrated when the princess keeps getting taken away at the last minute; that’s life for cute, successful single women.
Mario would make a good investor with his patient strategy. Of course, he would probably invest entirely in gold coins and pipe fitting companies, so he might need some advice to get started. But patience is the ultimate winner in terms of savings.
The stock market is a fickle mistress: one day she loves you and the next she loves hurting you. That is why patience is important. Temptation might ask you to buy that new car, but having patience will show you that there are bigger and better things in store for you later.
Running through life at a breakneck speed hurts. Spending money on whatever you want whenever you want it is the equivalent of sprinting toward the finish line when you know full well you’ll pull a hamstring and probably throw up afterward. As Mario can attest, there are certainly times when you need to run as if a flaming barrel is chasing you. In life, this might manifest itself in certain decisions (i.e., go ahead and get that new house, stop overthinking things). It’s okay to hit the afterburners every once in awhile.
The greatest DK players, though, can spend hours at a machine, waiting patiently for just the right moment. This strategy is the only way to get the princess, and being patient with one’s money is the only way to make it safely to retirement.
7. Don’t give up
If Mario gave up, there never would have been a princess to save in Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 2, Super Mario Bros. 3, Mario 64, Mario Sunshine, and Mario Galaxy, etc. (man, she sure does get into trouble easily). Donkey Kong would have made her the mistress of his jungle cave, and she would never have been heard from again.
Your money is asking the same of you: don’t give up on it. Don’t let it be the mistress to some rich credit card CEO. Don’t let it be the link between you and that piece of bling you most certainly don’t need. Or at the very least, budget yourself some mad money so that you can enjoy yourself responsibly as you honor your long-term financial goals.
More importantly, don’t give up on the process of saving. While your friends may be less inclined to think about the future, take pride in the fact that you are smarter than they are. Determination will help you get the girl and the money.
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