I know I’m not the only 20-something who has seen each Star Wars movie (the originals, mind you, not the so-so new ones) like 17 times. You would think after watching the Death Star blow up 34 times (Episodes IV and VI) I would know every line by heart. Alas, I’m not quite that nerdy, or perhaps my memory is just terrible. I did however learn some financial lessons from all those viewings.
Lesson #1: Children Are Expensive
Let’s just focus on the financial impact Vader’s children had on him:
• Blows up 1st Death Star in Episode IV (untold billions in Imperial Credit wiped out)
• Has his hand severed (albeit by Vader). Medical bills can add up quick! I’ll bet if Vader had gotten the bill for this, he would have thought twice about slicing that hand off!
• Leader of the Rebellion, indirectly responsible for the loss of dozens of Star Destroyers (not cheap either)
So, Thank you Darth Vader for reminding us that kids can be expensive. I’m sure they are worth it (I mean, he did sacrifice himself for Luke after all), but someone needed to save up for their Rebel Alliance College Fund, and private Shyriiwook (Wookiespeak) language tutors are expensive. And don’t even get me started on the cost of Light saber training these days…
Lesson #2: When Building Your Death Star: Use Cheap Money
When Vader was overseeing construction of the Death Star, do you think he was financing the project with his own money? Of course not. While saving up for some purchases is a great idea, other times it makes much more sense to utilize other people’s money. So if you are thinking of making a large purchase and need to finance it, make sure you are borrowing money at as low a interest rate as (legally!) possible.
Note: This does not mean you should start taxing your dorm or neighbor any sort of Imperial Tax to raise money to buy your speeder!
Lesson #3: Don’t Delegate Your Financial Fitness
Vader learned the hard way about delegating important issues. How many Imperial fleet officers did he terminate because of poor performance? More than a handful! Your money is an important matter and is something you should watch and manage carefully. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get advice from qualified professionals, it just means you should make sure you are always in charge of your money. Vader didn’t leave important assignments up to anyone but himself. You shouldn’t ignore your financial well-being or assume your parents will always take care of you. After all, as Vader learned, children can be very expensive!